How Ditching ONE Word Can Improve All of Your Relationships

By Sunday Tollefson, MBA, PMP® 

Q. How can I get people to recognize my ideas? Sometimes I feel they are ignored and overlooked.

A. Your ideas are worth hearing. That said, people are programmed to listen based on language, so consider how you might change your language in order to be received differently. An important word to understand is the word "but." While we use it as an introduction to a thought, or a conjunction, the subconscious mental interpretation is "forget what was just said." Consider how this impacts your communications. 

If you remove the word "but" from your vernacular, you can appear less resistant, less combative, more inclusive, and more considerate. People will perceive you as a better team member. 

Removing the word "but" from your self-talk can also improve your mindset and build your confidence. 

An adequate substitute for the word "but" is almost always the word "and."

Listen for the word "but" early in the discussions of your idea, and see if that changes the response of your colleagues. 

© Sunday Tollefson